Blog Archives

There Was Her


For some people “will you marry me”

Is not a virgin term that escapes from their lips.

It serves to be only the tip

Of the matter that leads to disaster

And they wonder why, you wonder if

“I love you” is just a script

That seems so easily to drip from their lips.

For some people there is no “one and only”

Forever only you will hold me

Type falsities.

Forever and always is just a trick tease

That speeds up your heartbeat

And then passes by

Just like a quick breeze.

And they wonder why, you wonder if

This love for you will also soon cease.

There is that reality that before you

There was her.

There was laughing and kissing

And lovemaking

That had his toes curling

And ears ringing

And it was her name he was singing

With praises so high.

Her shadow follows your every move

From the way you cook to the way you clean

To the words you say and

How your actions may seem

To be like hers

Or maybe nothing like hers

If it suits his mood.

This may be a good or bad thing

Depending on memories it may allude

To

Like the times he missed her so much

He could have cried

Or the way her hair fell in waves

Before it dried into

The strands of joy that would caress his face

At night

In the same bed

That he invites you to share with him.

And in the quiet moments

I get to thinking

And all the ways he used to love her, sinks in

To my brain, my heart

And I can’t stop, once I start.

He used to kiss her lips with a fever

Erased all doubt from her mind

And made her a believer

Of his words, his touches…

And the ring on her finger

A memory that still lingers

In the box that I found near the bed

Leftovers from two people unwed.

And he wonders why, I wonder if

An ending between us could occur

When I don’t have to look far to see

That before me, there was her.

(c) 2013

 

She Let Go


The following words were forwarded to me by one of my best friends. Unfortunately, I don’t know who the original author is, so I can’t give credit where credit is due, but it seems like someone read my mind and decided to write out my thoughts for me. Everyone goes through a period in their lives, where they hold on to things…whether it’s a past love, past pain, past memories, past happiness… And everyone goes through another period in their lives, where they are trying to let go. Some people succeed and some people never really do… So this is for everyone out there still learning to let go and I hope it gives you that extra strength. Speaking from personal experience…letting go, really is the best gift you can give yourself. I haven’t looked back since and I can honestly say, this is the happiest I have been in a very long time!

Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of fear.

She let go of judgments. 

She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
… She let go of the committee of indecision within her.

She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice.

She didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She just let go.
She let go of all the memories that held her back.

She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations

about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.

She made no public announcement.

She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.

She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.

She didn’t utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.

There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.

No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort.

There was no struggle. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.

A small smile came over her face.

A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
Here’s to giving ourselves the gift of letting go…

 

 

My Mother, My Hero


She was the wind beneath my wings

Before I even knew how to fly.

She kept my feet on the ground

And my eyes toward the sky.

If I have touched your life in any way

I just want you to know,

You have my mother to thank,

For I am but her shadow.

She taught me how to love

And some say, I have her laugh.

Every step forward I took,

I took on her behalf.

Everything I do, I do it for her

Because she gave her life to me.

She gave up her country, her family, her friends

So that I could know, what it meant to be free.

The fear of persecution,

I will never have to know.

For bearing the burden for me,

She is the greatest of heroes.

I may grow up and change the world,

Degrees may decorate my walls,

I may witness beauty few have seen,

And travel to more places than I can recall.

But the joy of loving my mother

Will be the greatest of these things

Because without her sacrifice,

My life would not have wings.

(c) 2012  ksoranna

Personal Note: Other mothers may be great, and wonderful, and loving…but my mother is one of a kind. She left her family, her friends, and her country at the tender age of 15 and joined a resistance movement against the Communist Party.  Against all odds and with the help of God’s grace she survived and escaped from starvation, a jungle terrain, enemy capture, and civil warfare to bring me into this world. On foot, she traveled from Vietnam to Thailand and from there, to the Philippines, where we were finally given refugee status by the United States. Thousands shared our journey, but we were part of the only 200 something, who made it.

Scientist used to say that it should have been impossible for a bee to fly and until recently, the bee’s success was a mystery. But the saying goes, that a bee never knew that it wasn’t supposed to fly, so it flew anyways.  Like the bee, I never knew the “impossible” because my mother showed me that the “impossible” does not exist. I came to the United States as a refugee, without even a birth certificate to my name. I didn’t even know a word of English when I started Elementary School. I grew up on the lower socio-economic side of town by parents who worked multiple jobs, knew very little English and did not have a high school education. Statistically speaking, I should not have made it very far in life, but my family never believed in statistics…so I graduated high school with honors, became the second Montagnard female to graduate from a four year university and went on to law school. I am currently working in the legal field and serve as an advocate for a non-profit organization that speaks out on human rights issues. Every success I have had, was because my mother believed in me.

Happy Mother’s Day to my mother and all the other mothers out there. May you also serve as the wind beneath someone’s wings, so that they in turn can become heroes and have the potential to some day change the world.

Hotel Room Stirrings (Warning: Adult Content)


Hotel room stirrings

Sprung on by chocolate dreams

And a muscadine high.

Lips on mine

Before I even realize

Butterfly kisses melt into

Birthday wishes and

Walls crumble as

Hands fumble

On buttons, zippers, and

High-heel slippers.

My eyes linger on the view

That readies my body on cue.

My waves crash against the shore

Meeting the hardness of your core.

My goal, to release your energy

Into milky, white dreams set free.

 

(c) 2012  Ksoranna

Remembering A Fellow Poet and Good Friend


Today at 5:30 pm, Keenan M. Gorham, a good friend and fellow poet passed away after a long battle with illness. I know he is in a better place now and no longer suffering. He shed so much light and laughter to others, with his beautiful smile, demeanor, and his words. He was a constant presence in the poetry world and hosted many spoken word events in the North Carolina area. Even after his death, his words and acts of kindness will forever live on.  This is one of the few poems that I have of his and I wanted to share it with others. Enjoy!

NEVER BEFORE (RAW EMOTIONS…)

I told her she was taboo to me
tattooed her name on the edges of my tongue
as a constant reminder of what deep love tastes like
allowed her to be an impediment in my speech
slurr’d stumbles of compliments I’d give
careful not to voice what wasn’t felt
heavy stained versed ink enabling me to breath her beautifully
w/ design in and out like aspirated mantras
leaving lungs sated fluidly of profound messages to remember
exhaling her name through windpipes openly like Avatar dreams
pied piping peculiar parables of possibilities to play out
when we’d play into the Devil’s flute of temptation
for lusting of her be the sweetest melody heard
and longing the fairest vice given
b/c wanting of her burns like fiery Hell in my loins
she knows this
leaving indelible imprints of
permanent passion marks on my heart I still seem to enjoy remebrance
she’s learned to win me over
brand affection on the core of me
so I’ll beat of existence as the flow of her closeness runs through me w/ intentions
permitting myself to pull her closer than intuition in
tell her to use me like bold & italicized truth so I can stand out within
what she thinks of
assure that crying will not be evident
I’ll hold her like the hands of time and cradle her future in my arms
give her stability of a Nova star
so she’ll shine brighter than anything I could ever imagine for
insert worth in her days to be valuable in mine
learn to set free of what worries her when all else tries her
kiss her after I see tears fall like forgiveness from pedals of Dahlias
never before seeing her mature more attractively
witnessing her smile blossoming brighter than a nude son
showing me the vulnerability of her warm ways
appreciate how important her presence be in my life like faith
for it is more than just admiring who she is
but of what she has to offer
being my right side when wrong
my write hand when alone I’m left
like my sanity in spells of troubled darkness
sense in the midst of uncertainty
sigh of constructive reflection
the backbone of my weakness
foundation of my purpose
my 12th rib of evolution to completion
just my reason for being who I am
I swear she seems to be the world to me
and if that be the case
if dying assured me of being with her forever
bury me years ago just to be eternally grateful now
w/ everything she’s done for me
fulfilling me w/ genuine promises of her words as if be Towdah
together nothing separating a sharing of vocal vows
when we whisper emotions like smoke signals
signifying this will always be
so if this is love I’m feeling
I don’t want it to be taken away
and to her, to never walk a way from
not knowing if I’ll ever have anything more to speak of as wonderful as she
nor taste whiffs of happiness as I call for her name
nor mine from her willowy lips
she makes me feel more than complete
so I need her
in my life constantly like days needing night to fall back on
I hope she knows I just love being in her presence
like a rainbow to a storm
giving me something to enjoy colorfully when life seems bleak
a guardian to my destiny
wings to my flight
call to my anointing
faith to my sight
she is the embodiment of what I wish for
the epitome of perfection
the woman who for the first time in a long time
I feel deeply in love with
like never before!

(C)2010 K. Gorham

Sex is Like a Drug (Warning: Mature Content)


Sex is like a drug

That some use in place of love.

Addicted to the night

When only sex can make it right.

 

That initial touch,

That high you crave so much

From fingers yet unknown

Undress breasts, still unshown.

 

Kisses fast and incomplete

Breath catching in defeat

Heartbeat racing, loud and clear

Hormones ready, in high gear.

 

Fingers search for that spot

A few flicks here, make you hot.

Lips working, tongue thick

Wetness dripping with every lick.

 

Sex hard as a rock

Impatiently he knocks

On your wet door

Entering the only cure.

 

Head back,

Eyes closed,

Back arched,

Legs open.

 

Fingers clutching,

Hips thrusting,

Bodies lusting,

Orgasms busting.

 

That aching throb inside…

Gone.

Your cravings pacified

Addiction… for now, satisfied.

Part 3: Haunting What Ifs


What if…two simple words

That have haunted me

Like a shadow

Clinging to cobwebs

I cleaned out long ago.

In the back of my mind,

You never left, always there

Reminded by dimpled smiles

Of strangers unaware,

Of their resemblance to you

In the way that they walked

Or in your favorite color, blue.

I can still hear your laughter

Carried by the breeze.

Still remember “Because of You”

Played on piano keys

With the same fingers

That traced my face,

Tucked my hair behind my ears

And expertly removed lace.

I can still feel you

At night, you enter my dreams.

You waited for me to come to you

Like in blockbuster movie scenes

Where the girl always gets the guy

And it’s never too late

And love always wins

No matter how much they tempt fate.

But I am not an actress

And time has moved fast like

The tide stealing sand from the shore

This emptiness I saved for you,

I can no longer ignore.

Memories of your love

Still capture me,

Like the moon, I’m caught

Inside your gravity.

Please, release me,

Set me free

From shadowy cobwebs

That still haunt me.

Part 2: Leaving What If Behind


Oh how I feel so free,

I could fly, I could sing,

I could dance to Mordor

And bring back Frodo’s ring.

 

I am coming for you!

I envision your beautiful smile,

The way your laugh lines crease

And your dimples show.

The way you throw your head back with laughter;

Your joy had me at “hello.”

I can’t wait to run into your arms

Sewn with muscle, enhanced by lifting

Built for strength, yet softened by kissing.

I will tell you everything that I never could before.

I can’t wait for the look of surprise when you open the door.

Oh what shall I tell you?

What should I say?

And forgive these simple words,

For I know they sound cliché, but…

I can’t even start to explain

Why I love you so much.

It’s like a liquid fire inside

That can only be extinguished by your touch.

When I open my eyes and see your face,

My joy, I cannot hide,

My feelings, I can’t erase.

Each day I love you more and more,

As the pounding of my heart reveals

Out of my mouth comes unspoken words

I can no longer conceal.

 

I am coming for you!

My heart pounding so fast,

I can barely breathe

In and out…I count to ten

Over and over and over again.

My movements a blur,

Like I forgot how to drive.

I can’t crash and burn

I’ve never felt more alive.

I finally get to your place

And I stop…breathing

I really can’t …breathe.

It’s like I am choking on silent sobs

Of thunderclouds filled with paperweights

Every breath I take

Evaporates.

And from my eyes

A tempest rains

Down my face

With teardrop chains.

Finally the wail of a hurt animal

Escapes from my cottonmouth lips.

Who was once my sun and stars,

Is now my lunar eclipse.

Please lightning strike my eyes

So I can no longer see.

He’s smiling and hugging and kissing her

And that girl is not me.

 

He never even knew I was there

Never knew I came for him.

I left what if behind

Only to think of what could have been.

(TOO BE CONTINUED…)

Part 1: Chasing What If…


I used to be engaged once

To a man with the sweetest heart, the softest lips,

And the kindest eyes.

He made me feel complete,

My heart stood still

And my stomach carried butterflies.

Oh how I loved him so…

He had this laugh that rose from his belly

And filled the house with its sound.

He smelled of a natural freshness and lotion

I could breath in his scent forever

And happily drown.

He told me I was beautiful

With every moment he could spare.

There was never a doubt in my mind

How much, for me, he truly cared

But something held me back

From saying “I Do”.

I gave up all his love and more

To chase dreams of “what ifs” with you.

 

(TOO BE CONTINUED…)

Bedtime


Craving your body all through the night

Kissing you, rubbing you, holding you tight.

Skin on skin, eye to eye

Tender touch so soft from inside.

Your tongue on my neck, lips on my breasts,

Leaving my body in eager unrest.

Entangled among the sheets, entwined as one

Leave all thoughts behind, let our bodies have fun.

I fit every inch and every curve.

You caress my spot and tickle every nerve.

Slowly whisper softly to me

And guide me to the point of ecstasy.

Hear the moans you can’t ignore,

As I say your name and call for more.