Blog Archives

There Was Her


For some people “will you marry me”

Is not a virgin term that escapes from their lips.

It serves to be only the tip

Of the matter that leads to disaster

And they wonder why, you wonder if

“I love you” is just a script

That seems so easily to drip from their lips.

For some people there is no “one and only”

Forever only you will hold me

Type falsities.

Forever and always is just a trick tease

That speeds up your heartbeat

And then passes by

Just like a quick breeze.

And they wonder why, you wonder if

This love for you will also soon cease.

There is that reality that before you

There was her.

There was laughing and kissing

And lovemaking

That had his toes curling

And ears ringing

And it was her name he was singing

With praises so high.

Her shadow follows your every move

From the way you cook to the way you clean

To the words you say and

How your actions may seem

To be like hers

Or maybe nothing like hers

If it suits his mood.

This may be a good or bad thing

Depending on memories it may allude

To

Like the times he missed her so much

He could have cried

Or the way her hair fell in waves

Before it dried into

The strands of joy that would caress his face

At night

In the same bed

That he invites you to share with him.

And in the quiet moments

I get to thinking

And all the ways he used to love her, sinks in

To my brain, my heart

And I can’t stop, once I start.

He used to kiss her lips with a fever

Erased all doubt from her mind

And made her a believer

Of his words, his touches…

And the ring on her finger

A memory that still lingers

In the box that I found near the bed

Leftovers from two people unwed.

And he wonders why, I wonder if

An ending between us could occur

When I don’t have to look far to see

That before me, there was her.

(c) 2013

 

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My Mother, My Hero


She was the wind beneath my wings

Before I even knew how to fly.

She kept my feet on the ground

And my eyes toward the sky.

If I have touched your life in any way

I just want you to know,

You have my mother to thank,

For I am but her shadow.

She taught me how to love

And some say, I have her laugh.

Every step forward I took,

I took on her behalf.

Everything I do, I do it for her

Because she gave her life to me.

She gave up her country, her family, her friends

So that I could know, what it meant to be free.

The fear of persecution,

I will never have to know.

For bearing the burden for me,

She is the greatest of heroes.

I may grow up and change the world,

Degrees may decorate my walls,

I may witness beauty few have seen,

And travel to more places than I can recall.

But the joy of loving my mother

Will be the greatest of these things

Because without her sacrifice,

My life would not have wings.

(c) 2012  ksoranna

Personal Note: Other mothers may be great, and wonderful, and loving…but my mother is one of a kind. She left her family, her friends, and her country at the tender age of 15 and joined a resistance movement against the Communist Party.  Against all odds and with the help of God’s grace she survived and escaped from starvation, a jungle terrain, enemy capture, and civil warfare to bring me into this world. On foot, she traveled from Vietnam to Thailand and from there, to the Philippines, where we were finally given refugee status by the United States. Thousands shared our journey, but we were part of the only 200 something, who made it.

Scientist used to say that it should have been impossible for a bee to fly and until recently, the bee’s success was a mystery. But the saying goes, that a bee never knew that it wasn’t supposed to fly, so it flew anyways.  Like the bee, I never knew the “impossible” because my mother showed me that the “impossible” does not exist. I came to the United States as a refugee, without even a birth certificate to my name. I didn’t even know a word of English when I started Elementary School. I grew up on the lower socio-economic side of town by parents who worked multiple jobs, knew very little English and did not have a high school education. Statistically speaking, I should not have made it very far in life, but my family never believed in statistics…so I graduated high school with honors, became the second Montagnard female to graduate from a four year university and went on to law school. I am currently working in the legal field and serve as an advocate for a non-profit organization that speaks out on human rights issues. Every success I have had, was because my mother believed in me.

Happy Mother’s Day to my mother and all the other mothers out there. May you also serve as the wind beneath someone’s wings, so that they in turn can become heroes and have the potential to some day change the world.

Hotel Room Stirrings (Warning: Adult Content)


Hotel room stirrings

Sprung on by chocolate dreams

And a muscadine high.

Lips on mine

Before I even realize

Butterfly kisses melt into

Birthday wishes and

Walls crumble as

Hands fumble

On buttons, zippers, and

High-heel slippers.

My eyes linger on the view

That readies my body on cue.

My waves crash against the shore

Meeting the hardness of your core.

My goal, to release your energy

Into milky, white dreams set free.

 

(c) 2012  Ksoranna

Part 3: Haunting What Ifs


What if…two simple words

That have haunted me

Like a shadow

Clinging to cobwebs

I cleaned out long ago.

In the back of my mind,

You never left, always there

Reminded by dimpled smiles

Of strangers unaware,

Of their resemblance to you

In the way that they walked

Or in your favorite color, blue.

I can still hear your laughter

Carried by the breeze.

Still remember “Because of You”

Played on piano keys

With the same fingers

That traced my face,

Tucked my hair behind my ears

And expertly removed lace.

I can still feel you

At night, you enter my dreams.

You waited for me to come to you

Like in blockbuster movie scenes

Where the girl always gets the guy

And it’s never too late

And love always wins

No matter how much they tempt fate.

But I am not an actress

And time has moved fast like

The tide stealing sand from the shore

This emptiness I saved for you,

I can no longer ignore.

Memories of your love

Still capture me,

Like the moon, I’m caught

Inside your gravity.

Please, release me,

Set me free

From shadowy cobwebs

That still haunt me.

Part 2: Leaving What If Behind


Oh how I feel so free,

I could fly, I could sing,

I could dance to Mordor

And bring back Frodo’s ring.

 

I am coming for you!

I envision your beautiful smile,

The way your laugh lines crease

And your dimples show.

The way you throw your head back with laughter;

Your joy had me at “hello.”

I can’t wait to run into your arms

Sewn with muscle, enhanced by lifting

Built for strength, yet softened by kissing.

I will tell you everything that I never could before.

I can’t wait for the look of surprise when you open the door.

Oh what shall I tell you?

What should I say?

And forgive these simple words,

For I know they sound cliché, but…

I can’t even start to explain

Why I love you so much.

It’s like a liquid fire inside

That can only be extinguished by your touch.

When I open my eyes and see your face,

My joy, I cannot hide,

My feelings, I can’t erase.

Each day I love you more and more,

As the pounding of my heart reveals

Out of my mouth comes unspoken words

I can no longer conceal.

 

I am coming for you!

My heart pounding so fast,

I can barely breathe

In and out…I count to ten

Over and over and over again.

My movements a blur,

Like I forgot how to drive.

I can’t crash and burn

I’ve never felt more alive.

I finally get to your place

And I stop…breathing

I really can’t …breathe.

It’s like I am choking on silent sobs

Of thunderclouds filled with paperweights

Every breath I take

Evaporates.

And from my eyes

A tempest rains

Down my face

With teardrop chains.

Finally the wail of a hurt animal

Escapes from my cottonmouth lips.

Who was once my sun and stars,

Is now my lunar eclipse.

Please lightning strike my eyes

So I can no longer see.

He’s smiling and hugging and kissing her

And that girl is not me.

 

He never even knew I was there

Never knew I came for him.

I left what if behind

Only to think of what could have been.

(TOO BE CONTINUED…)

Part 1: Chasing What If…


I used to be engaged once

To a man with the sweetest heart, the softest lips,

And the kindest eyes.

He made me feel complete,

My heart stood still

And my stomach carried butterflies.

Oh how I loved him so…

He had this laugh that rose from his belly

And filled the house with its sound.

He smelled of a natural freshness and lotion

I could breath in his scent forever

And happily drown.

He told me I was beautiful

With every moment he could spare.

There was never a doubt in my mind

How much, for me, he truly cared

But something held me back

From saying “I Do”.

I gave up all his love and more

To chase dreams of “what ifs” with you.

 

(TOO BE CONTINUED…)

Bedtime


Craving your body all through the night

Kissing you, rubbing you, holding you tight.

Skin on skin, eye to eye

Tender touch so soft from inside.

Your tongue on my neck, lips on my breasts,

Leaving my body in eager unrest.

Entangled among the sheets, entwined as one

Leave all thoughts behind, let our bodies have fun.

I fit every inch and every curve.

You caress my spot and tickle every nerve.

Slowly whisper softly to me

And guide me to the point of ecstasy.

Hear the moans you can’t ignore,

As I say your name and call for more.

Honeysuckle Bees


I look at you and I am reminded of

Honeysuckle leaves

With their guarding bees

That I tried to taste so expertly.

Yet each drop of honey was not enough

To quench my thirst

Or dry my lust.

So again and again, I would take my chances

Of freeing my aching sweet tooth

With those tempting leaves

Guarded by those stinging bees,

Until I got close to filling my tongue

With that ecstasy,

And I felt the pain of those jealous bees.

And even now, I’ll never know why,

I couldn’t get enough of you,

With your guarded heart

And those frequent lies.

But looking back, I clearly see

You were nothing but a temptation of

Honeysuckle leaves with their guarding bees.

All For Sport (Warning: Hunting Pictures)


 

How does it feel, man child

To bring the beasts of the earth down

To watch them fall to their knees

As if begging you to spare their life.

Do you feel powerful, holding a weapon

So deadly that it pierces muscle…

Made for running from predators,

Jaws with a 5,000 pound bite force,

And trunks strong enough to lift trees from their roots.

Do you know that they were once mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters

That they once hunted, fought, loved, and walked the ground with footsteps so heavy

It shook the earth upon which you now stand, aiming your gun.

As these beautiful creatures gave to you their last breath,

Did you notice the color of their eyes,

The curve of the water buffalo’s horns,

Did you count the spots on the civet’s fur coat,

Did you appreciate the width of the elephant’s ears…

Or did you simply cut off it’s tail

And pose for a picture.

Prologue: What If… (Warning: Mature Content)


Laying beside you, so close, yet so far away.

Lost in each other’s presence, there are no words worthy enough to say

That could break this calmness, that has trapped us in time.

For a moment I am yours, and for now, you are mine.

I savor your breath on my ear…my neck

I anticipate the chills that emerge from the tips of your fingers

And in my mind, I silently lust

For more of your electric touch

To move higher up… to my bra…my breasts

To release these hindered moans

Caught in the walls of my chest.

And I yearn for your lips to misbehave,

For your tongue to follow suit

And for my body to cave in…to our desires of what can be

If we let down our guard and opened our minds

To explore this chemistry

That is hidden from view

Except from my eyes, and it’s only for you.

My heart skips and my cheeks flush

At the thought of what ifs occurring between the two of us.

What if…I pressed my body so close to yours that the rise and fall of our chests became one breath and

What if…I took your face into my hands, brushed your lips with mine, met your tongue halfway until we lost all sense of time and

What if…I let you lick my lips… not the ones on my face, but the ones with a clit…until they pulsated with my wet desire, that overpowered my body and set my soul on fire and 

What if…I returned the favor by discovering your weakness in its salty flavor, as I gently suck you dry with strokes so sweet that if your nuts had wings, they would fly and

What if…I rocked my hips to match your beat until you lost control and curled your toes and let out cries of satisfied defeat and

What if…

But then my phone interrupts my thoughts

Of you and me and what could be

And I leave your couch to return to this reality.

(TOO BE CONTINUED…)