LOVE AFTER LOVE (Derek Walcott)
“The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life. (emphasis added)“
Hello again my dear friends. I wanted to introduce you to one of my favorite poems, “Love After Love”, by Derek Walcott. It has been a long time since we last communicated and in the last 4 years, I have been busy greeting myself at my own front door, over and over again.
Truly greeting yourself, and deciding to love the deeps depths of your physical being and all the colors of your soul, is not easy. If it were, there wouldn’t be so many self-help books and Instagram quotes about it. A few years ago I was dealing with a lot of personal struggles and when I came across this poem, it inspired me to really love myself, really love my life and somehow obtain a level of happiness that I wasn’t sure even existed. I didn’t know how to even start. I saw this poem as an internal goal that I would probably never come close to achieving but something I still hoped for.
The timing was never “the right time” to fully feast on my life. I thought I needed to grow professionally, build on my life goals, strengthen my close relationships, work on a healthier body, and learn to forgive past pains. Don’t make the same mistake I did, as I have spent years waiting for the right time to fully embrace myself, my life, my love, and my happiness. It took me creating life and finally experiencing unconditional love for another being to realize that it was possible to have that same unconditional love for myself. Me, loving myself unconditionally, is still a project I am working on but the time has come where I can finally greet myself with elation. I feel more beautiful, more vibrant, more alive, more significant than I have ever felt before. After years of always hungering for more, today I am feasting on my life.
If you are waiting for the right time, I challenge you to greet yourself every morning, as sometimes the minutes in-between each sunrise can minimize your strengths, make you question your values, re-examine your relationships…still feast on your life. Know that you can continue to grow professionally, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally while loving yourself without any conditions and limits. Welcome both the changes and constants in your life. Praise yourself like you would your best friend. Forgive yourself like you would a close family member, who would never apologize for any wrongdoing, but you forgive anyways. Little by little, time after time, take back the pieces of your heart, whether you had given them to an unappreciating lover, unapologetic relationship, unfulfilling job, materialism, or a higher presence that left you empty. Return the pieces of your heart to yourself, for you are most deserving of your unconditional love. And one day, I hope you greet yourself with elation and feast on your life until your heart is full.
February 16, 2014: I felt trapped. Suffocating in a relationship that no longer had a future; with a man I had long fallen out of love with. Two days after Valentine’s Day and the only thing I was looking forward to was my move out date in 6 days. There is nothing harder than having a one-sided relationship with a man who won’t meet you halfway; nothing more heartbreaking than kissing a man who won’t kiss back; nothing more pathetic than crying alone on my side of the bed when he was less than an arm’s length away.
April 26, 2014: I turned 29. One year away from the big 30 and even with all that I had accomplished, I still felt dissatisfied with my life. But that was nothing new. Growing up, I always wanted more for myself and more out of the life I was so blessed to have. But that weekend was more than about me feeling like I was stuck in a rut; it was also the weekend I found out my good friend passed away…the day after I saw him for my birthday dinner. Even now, replaying the moment I heard the news still brings tears to my eyes. I still remember for my 26th birthday, he got to work early to blow up balloons and decorate my desk area to surprise me.
That was the kind of friend he was. He sat next to me for almost 2 years and kept me laughing and my spirits high every day that we worked together. When I moved into my first apartment alone, he gave me a really nice glass set. Till this day, it is still the glass set I drink from. It is so hard to explain what it feels like to see someone arriving on their customary motorcycle, to eat and laugh, to hug them good-bye…like you two have done for the last 5 years, only to find out that they got into a fatal motorcycle accident the next morning. As much as his friendship affected my life; his death affected it even more. Now more than before, I understood the meaning of cherishing every moment, appreciating every friendship, and most importantly to truly love living. It was at that moment, I knew I had to worry less about the future, enjoy the present, and pursue my daydreams even harder.
July 10, 2014: For the first time in my life, I stepped onto European soil. After a year of planning, saving, and daydreaming about the moment; it passes by in a blink of an eye. My best friend and I spent the next 2 weeks exploring Rome, Barcelona, and Madrid and it was a life changing experience; as most international travels always are. There is no way I can put into words what it feels like to walk down a cobblestone street listening to beautiful Italian accents, while enjoying an authentic gelato with my best friend, under a beautiful sun, with the iconic Roman Colosseum in sight. There is nothing as refreshing as “summer wine” in Madrid after a long, hot day or as delicious as spicy potato fritters at Bar Nuria (http://http://www.nuria.com/en/#_=_) while people watching in Barcelona. It is every bit as amazing as I had imagined it would be and exactly the break from my real life that I needed. If you are ever presented with the opportunity to travel internationally, do it!! It will bring more value to your life than any designer purse, spa day, or luxury car that will only depreciate over time. Traveling opens your eyes to sights not seen on tv and enlightens your soul, like few other things in this world can.
July 26, 2014: I had fallen in love/in lust with a married man. In life you always say there are certain things you will never do, certain lines you will never cross but the older I’ve gotten, the more I realize that list gets shorter and shorter as I continue to break all the imaginary “rules” I laid out for myself. We spent all day at the beach and it was like a scene from a movie. A wonderful, sweet, sappy, and romantic movie. We laid out on the beach, frolicked among the waves, and kissed on the shoreline as the waves crashed against our laps.
Some people are in your life for a reason and he helped to remind me of what amazing chemistry felt like, what passion and love could be like…with the right person. He wasn’t the “right” person, but when he touched me, it felt like magic. When he kissed me and made love to me, I thought of nothing and no one else. We were both so deprived of intimacy, that we poured all of that need into each other. I had more orgasms in the few months I was with him, then I did in the year before I met him. He looked at me and I felt beautiful. When I had a bad day, he would make a point to send me funny videos. When I got discouraged, he would push and motivate me. He always believed that I would go on to do bigger and better things, sometimes more than I did. In the shortest time, he somehow colored my world more than he will ever know.
October 1, 2014: I found out I didn’t get the promotion at work. I was beyond insulted and thought I was more qualified than some of the others who got the promotion. I didn’t know it at the time, but this event was the main catalyst that would propel me to start looking outside my comfort zone. Looking back, I am so thankful that I didn’t get this promotion because if I did, I would have stayed in the same city I grew up in, surrounded by my family and friends, and my life would have completely taken another path than the journey I am on now.
October 27, 2014: The day that changed my life forever and I hated him. I wished he would get hit by a semi-truck and be forever paralyzed from the neck down. If my life were a reality show; this episode would be the season finale. I became every single crazy woman stereotype and continued breaking all of my “rules”. Catch him in multiple lies and stay with him – check. Catch him cheating and stay with him – check. Allow yourself to be in a love triangle and stay with him – check. Drive over to his house banging on the door and screaming at the top of your lungs at 2 in the morning – check. Try to get your roommate and 4 of his big friends to threaten the guy – check. Ask your pregnant sister if you could please have some of her urine so you can pretend to be pregnant – check. Out of every dark storm, there is a silver lining and my sanity was saved by the most unlikeliest person. “The other woman” made me a stronger person; she became my support group when I felt like I had no one else who could understand me. Despite all the hurt and anger, we became friends as he becomes a distant memory. Some days it is still a struggle to not think of him and as I feel that dark anger and sadness start to engulf me, she reminds me….everything will be ok, everything will get better, and I am beautiful and amazing and loved. We still talk on a regular basis and I know that, even though the bonds that tie us together are dark and ugly, we will be friends for the rest of our lives.
November 17, 2014: I got the job! Everything happened in a whirlwind. Things were so bad at my last job that one day I went home and applied to 6 open positions. My best friend kept talking about the DC area and out of desperation, I just happened to apply to 2 jobs in the DC area that I found through LinkedIn. I got a phone interview that Thursday and an in person interview the following Monday. I walked into the firm and it felt like home; like I belonged there. I came home after the interview and told my roommate that the job was made for me and I don’t know who could have been more of a better candidate. I logged into my email to write out a thank you letter and had an offer waiting for me…4 hours after I had left my interview. Three weeks later, I moved to an unfamiliar city where I barely knew anyone and just prayed that I had made a good decision and that this move was for the best. Two months later, and I am happy to proclaim that this was the best decision I have ever made for myself.
February 14, 2015: I had a great Valentine’s Day. To think that just a year ago, I was dreading Valentine’s Day. I was getting over a cold at the same time that I was getting over my relationship. I woke up to a card, chocolates, and cough drops. Fast forward a year and I am enjoying Spanish tapas and refreshing sangrias, with one of the sweetest and most understanding guys I’ve ever met. We are laughing, he’s speaking Spanish to me, I am watching the snow falling outside, and he’s rubbing my bare feet that fit so comfortably on his lap. He knows parts of me that are dark, sees the tension that these secrets bring to me, and accepts me and my baggage wholeheartedly. He kisses me, touches me, and all the anger of the last 5 months slips away. I am still learning what his purpose in my life is, but he is giving me something to believe in again.
February 16, 2015: I am free. I love my new job. I love my new city. I am starting to love my body again. I have two international trips planned. My writer’s block has finally been lifted and I’m writing again. At this moment, all seems right in my life and I could not ask for anything more. I am happier than I have been in a long time.
For some people “will you marry me”
Is not a virgin term that escapes from their lips.
It serves to be only the tip
Of the matter that leads to disaster
And they wonder why, you wonder if
“I love you” is just a script
That seems so easily to drip from their lips.
For some people there is no “one and only”
Forever only you will hold me
Forever and always is just a trick tease
That speeds up your heartbeat
And then passes by
Just like a quick breeze.
And they wonder why, you wonder if
This love for you will also soon cease.
There is that reality that before you
There was her.
There was laughing and kissing
That had his toes curling
And ears ringing
And it was her name he was singing
With praises so high.
Her shadow follows your every move
From the way you cook to the way you clean
To the words you say and
How your actions may seem
To be like hers
Or maybe nothing like hers
If it suits his mood.
This may be a good or bad thing
Depending on memories it may allude
Like the times he missed her so much
He could have cried
Or the way her hair fell in waves
Before it dried into
The strands of joy that would caress his face
In the same bed
That he invites you to share with him.
And in the quiet moments
I get to thinking
And all the ways he used to love her, sinks in
To my brain, my heart
And I can’t stop, once I start.
He used to kiss her lips with a fever
Erased all doubt from her mind
And made her a believer
Of his words, his touches…
And the ring on her finger
A memory that still lingers
In the box that I found near the bed
Leftovers from two people unwed.
And he wonders why, I wonder if
An ending between us could occur
When I don’t have to look far to see
That before me, there was her.
Facebook is like all the headlines of the day’s news…except it’s of people that you actually know. You find out who just had a baby, who got a job promotion, who lost a loved one, who bought a new house, and who is getting married. Well it’s official…he’s engaged…to someone other than me. Although I knew that fact was coming soon, I still felt unprepared for the news.
Our love was before the time of cell phones and txt messages and Facebook and MySpace. Our love blossomed between the lines of notebook papers written after rushed class assignments and passed in between hallways. I still have every letter he wrote me in our 2 and half years…and I still have every email and message he has written me since. Even after our relationship ended, we built a friendship that spanned past college graduations and law school struggles. Yes ironically, he ended up being a lawyer too…a passion he never discovered until after our break up, but one I would like to think that I influenced. I used to call him on holidays and every birthday. I’ve never forgotten his birthday and I wonder if I ever will…February 7th. He will be 29 this year.
I am happy for him…really I am. I am happy for her, since he is probably twice the man that I used to know and the man that I knew was pretty fucking amazing. If our future depends on the foundation of our pasts, then because of him, my foundation has strength, friendship, values, and worth. I am no longer that 16 year old girl but my current 27 year old woman status still adheres to the worth that he saw in me. It is probably for that reason that I have remained single for as long as I have. I know my value and I will not settle for less.
I am numb. Even though we haven’t spoken in a while, it just now hit me that he is no longer mine. I will always be remembered as his high school sweetheart and we will hug and speak pleasantries if we should ever meet again…but he is now officially hers. I wonder if this is how he felt when he heard about my engagement and was he secretly happy when he found out that there would be no marriage for me. I knew this day would come…when we would finally part ways and the memory of our young love quickly fades away…even more so then they already have. I knew from the moment I saw their picture that she would replace me completely and from that day forth, I would linger only on old photos that he no longer looks at. He has finally found “the one” worthy enough to replace me. As for me…I am still searching.
Hello Dear Readers,
I just wanted to let you know that I have been super busy these past few weeks with Real Life responsibilities…ugh!! So no worries, I haven’t abandoned this blog. 🙂 I have been doing Human Rights’ presentations for universities and working on a website…all with the goal of boosting my resume so that when I apply to these fellowships in NYC, I will trick them into thinking I am a qualified candidate. 🙂 I promise to return soon with more tantalizing erotic tales and more heart warming poetry.
Until then… I will leave you with some pics that always makes me believe in finding love again and with the hope that sometimes love really does last a lifetime.
You are never too old to find the the one!
This story is my favorite!! The man is 104 years old and his wife is 100 years old. They have been married for 81 years. They are very poor and he has never seen his wife in a wedding dress, so when this picture was taken, it was the first time she wore one. They were both so overwhelmed. He hugged her and said that she is still beautiful to him. 🙂
Ok…hopefully no one intentionally aspires to be cling wrap. It’s just one of those things that happens when sometimes the paths in life that we take…lead us to the wrong people. Instead of running the other way once we realize that they are not good for anything but lies, cheap thrills, and wasting our time…we somehow get “caught” or “stuck”…and just like cling wrap, it may take a few tries before we can finally peel ourselves off. If any of these pics apply to you and your “relationship”…then it may be a sign that you need to walk the other way… unless you aspire to be cling wrap.
She picks up her pencil and starts to take notes. She looks around the room at unfamiliar faces…younger faces…and struggles to pay attention as the professor lectures on, in a language that is natively, not her own.
After escaping a war-torn country, adapting to a new culture, raising 5 children into adulthood, and working the last 15 years on the assembly line level of a company that does not realize her worth…she finally decided to pursue her own dreams.
She spent the last 2 years writing a memoir, with only the hopes and dreams that the outside world would value her struggles as much as she did. At the beginning of this year, she sent off numerous manuscripts, with only a simple prayer. Her hopes and dreams became a reality when among the numerous “nos”, one publishing company finally said “yes.” Only in her dreams did she imagine that her memoir would not only be published, but that she would be asked to do a book signing, and that there would already be a pre-order of 1,000 books.
Today she is making another dream a reality. While others were getting teary eyed wishing their kids off to school…I was getting teary eyed wishing my mother “good luck” on her first day back at school…in 39 years!! She is 54 years old and starting Adult Education Classes at the 5th grade level…and I have never been more proud of her.
She has taught me a lot of life lessons, including the fact that…it is never to late to pursue your dreams and sometimes dreams really do come true!
For more on her story: My Mother, My Hero
NOTE TO ANY MAN I DATE IN THE FUTURE: You must be willing to leave your uneaten food at the table, walk to the car parked a few blocks away, to go get your phone charger, so that you can take pictures of me, if that is my desire. Yes…my pedestal for what I expect out of my future man has risen even higher! But don’t blame me…blame him.
The him that causes me to smile that comfortable, easy smile, shared between friends and past lovers. The him that can pull off a hot pink dress shirt, brown slacks, and brown and pink matching socks to complete the outfit. He looked good.
We argued on the way to the restaurant because he was late, had no idea where he was going, and I was hungry. After 7 years, some things never change. We talked, we laughed, we took pictures and teased each other about who was the more conceited one out of the two of us. After looking through the pics on his phone, the evidence was clear that it was him.
We don’t always get along and barely agree on anything, but for some reason we have remained in each other’s lives, despite a short-lived romance that was more down than up. We don’t have much in common, don’t share the same circle of friends, and haven’t even made time to see each other, yet for some reason I know his number will never be deleted from my phone. My friends sometimes wonder why I put up with his snarky remarks and uncensored comments. It’s for the same reason I still am close with my high school friends, still keep in touch with folks from college…I like having someone in my life who can appreciate the woman I have become, because they once knew the girl I was. He is one of the few guys out there, who knows how I voted during the presidential election of 2004, who knows what I looked like in pictures that I have long since deleted from Facebook, and who will proudly acknowledge my success because he once helped me complete homework assignments.
He has a good head on his shoulder and a good heart. Someday he will learn to love a woman who will put up with his weird disdain for water, Michael Jackson obsession, and conceited mirror loving ways. If they are blessed enough to have children, he will be the most devoted and loving father. That wife and mother won’t be me…but it was nice to know, that at one time it could have been.
We haven’t spoken since that dinner and he is moving to Atlanta, Georgia…this time for the right reasons. If our history is any indication, it will be months, maybe years before we speak or ever see each other again. But the last text he sent me said, “If my wife doesn’t mind, you will be invited to my wedding.” I will take that, as an early invitation. Until then, good-bye for now and take care.
The following words were forwarded to me by one of my best friends. Unfortunately, I don’t know who the original author is, so I can’t give credit where credit is due, but it seems like someone read my mind and decided to write out my thoughts for me. Everyone goes through a period in their lives, where they hold on to things…whether it’s a past love, past pain, past memories, past happiness… And everyone goes through another period in their lives, where they are trying to let go. Some people succeed and some people never really do… So this is for everyone out there still learning to let go and I hope it gives you that extra strength. Speaking from personal experience…letting go, really is the best gift you can give yourself. I haven’t looked back since and I can honestly say, this is the happiest I have been in a very long time!
Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of fear.
She let go of judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
… She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice.
She didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She just let go.
She let go of all the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations
about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort.
There was no struggle. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
Here’s to giving ourselves the gift of letting go…
J carries me into the bedroom and places me on the bed, still wrapped up like a sushi roll. My hair, still wet, is cascading down my back and leaving little round water stains on the covers.
“Will you lotion me up?” I ask.
“Do you want me to do your legs, arms, back or all over?”
“Well since you gave me that option, I’m gonna have to go with all over. And you know what I mean when I say all over.”
He laughs and says, “No, I have no idea what you mean by all over.”
He starts leaning into me, his presence forcing me to lay down on the bed. He places his hands on my leg and uses his fingers to gently graze me.
“You want me to lotion up here?” he asks while trailing his hands up my leg…then higher on my thigh.
I silently nod, my eyes already hooded, my body already anticipating.
“What about here?” J asks, while kissing my collarbone, slowly…gently. Then his tongue traces the outline of my shoulders. Damn, his lips feel so good. Every spot he kisses…licks…feels like it’s been hit with fireworks.
He takes his lips off of my shoulders and looks down at me. I know that if we start kissing…we will have to finish what we started in the shower, which means, the kitchen won’t get cleaned, emails won’t get sent, unpacking won’t get done…
He leans in and I automatically close my eyes and tilt my head up. Everything else can wait…his lips on mine are all that matter right now. His lips are not as hungry as they were earlier in the shower. He slowly brushes them against mine. I return his kiss with the same gentleness. My arms are circled around his neck. His hands are rubbing up and down my sides. We do this back and forth kissing…our lips as soft and tender as a butterfly’s grace…as if to extend the sweetness of the appetizer, before we get to the main course.
I try to fight back moans…but they rise with the beating of my heart. As if on cue, I can feel J start to harden. I wrap my legs around his back and his hands move down to grab my ass. Our kisses began to pick up the pace…our tongues tasting more urgently…our breaths getting more heavy. He starts grinding on top of me as his dick gets more and more defined…and my pussy is getting more and more moist. Our towels act as a barrier, and the friction of the terry cloth rubbing against my clit, is making me gasp and sigh in ways I can’t explain. His lips move from my lips down to my chin…down to my neck, where he flicks his tongue up and down, side to side.
“Oh, shit baby!” I love when J uses his tongue.
He doesn’t stop at my collarbone, but continues to head south. He unwraps the towel from around me and just stares at my body. I feel like I am being displayed like a piece of art and he is studying me…deciding which part of my body is the most beautiful to him. He gazes lovely at my breasts and seems to ponder, which one to enjoy first. He decides on my right breast and wraps his mouth around my taunt nipple. He suckles it, while fondling my left breast. I love the feel of his big hands on me. He uses his tongue…expertly moving it around and around my nipple, sending shivers down my spine and moans out of my mouth. He teases my nipple with his teeth as he finishes the right breast and switches over to give my left some attention. His sucking, licking, and nibbling is making me squirm uncontrollable…and I can tell he is just getting started.
He heads further south, kissing his way down, towards my belly button. And then lower still. He uses his tongue to graze the area where my legs meet my hips…and I am shuddering already…my breathing starts to stutter…I am so glad I decided to take the time to get that Brazilian wax. I hope the sight of my smooth pussy lips entices J enough to take a bite.
He hovers for a minute over my triangle. I can feel him eying it, even with my eyes closed. I know J is still kind of shy when it comes to pleasuring my pussy with his tongue and I don’t want to pressure him into it, so I just silently try to brainwash him with my telepathic thoughts.
What the fuck…I feel a slight breeze on my bare skin. It is warm and tingly. Oh shit, J is blowing on my pussy lips…damn! OMG…he is kissing my landing strip and heading further south. OMG…is he actually going to do it?! Is he actually going to taste me….
OMG…fuuuuck!! He takes his tongue and slides it in between my pussy lips. He places his hands under my ass and lifts my lower half off of the bed as he uses his lips and tongue to devour me.
“Omigod, baby. Fuck! Damn, that feels so good!”
The only responses I get from him are more slurps of his tongue, as he flicks it up and down my pussy lips. I am tingling everywhere. My hands are all in his hair…squeezing his shoulders…and with every moan I release, he is tasting me harder and harder. It’s like I have gold in between my legs and he’s using his tongue to unlock my treasure chest. He is damn good at this…I can hardly contain myself. My body is shaking and my pussy is pulsating and I’m dripping…everywhere. So much profanity is coming out of my mouth…I feel possessed by the devil. So much pleasure is riveting from my pussy to the rest of my body, I feel like I’ve lost control of my shakes and shudders. I am starting to feel it, but there is one more thing I need from him before he can take me over the edge. I use one hand to spread open my pussy lips wider, so his tongue can dig in even deeper…and I use my other hand to guide his head, higher up…to my happy bump. He follows my guide without any hesitation and starts sucking on my clit. His tongue and lips go into overdrive and I can no longer control my need to cum.
“Fuck, baby…I am about to cum…Please don’t stop…Just suck on my clit…Yes, right there…” Omyfuckinggoodness…my body is experiencing wave after wave of spasms. My eyes go blind and see colorful spots dancing at the same time. My hands are everywhere…clutching the bed sheets, J’s head, J’s shoulders…until I can’t take it anymore. My pussy is just pulsating and I’m soo sensitive that I have to push him away. I’m trying to slide away from him and he grabs my legs and looks up at me.
“I never said I was done,” J says, with a greedy, hungry look in his eyes.
“Baby, I swear I can’t take it anymore.”
“Are you begging me to stop?” J asks, hardly able to believe what he was hearing. I am always ready for more. I am the one sheltering a nymph deep within my loins.
“Baby, I just came soo good, I have to catch my breath. And damn, where did you learn to eat pussy like that?!”
“You liked it?” he says with a grin.
He knows I liked it…actually I loved it. “Baby, if you eat my pussy like that every day, I swear I will clean your apartment, wash your laundry, cook every night…”
He interrupts my sentence with a kiss. He tastes of my orgasm. I open my mouth and search out his tongue with my own…wanting to do to his mouth, what he just did to my pussy. I suck on his lower lip and can taste my own desires. I can feel his shaft…so hard…up against my tender lips. He is moaning and grinding on top of me. I can tell he is ready for the main course.
“Grab my dick,” J commands. I do as I’m told and begin to stroke him. Gently, but steady… I move my hands up and down…up and down. His dick is so hard…I know he is just aching to be inside of me. I place his dick in between my legs but don’t let him inside…yet. I just want him to feel the heat coming from my core. He adjusts his weight on top of me and starts grinding his hips again. My pussy, still sensitive from being his midnight snack…instantly throbs for more.
“K, do you want me inside of you?”
“Hell yes. What are you waiting for? My pussy is so wet!”
“I didn’t hear the magic words.”
Magic words?? Oh… “Please, J…I want you so bad.”
“Beg me…” he says, still grinding his shaft against my valley.
I feel him take his dick and direct it into my opening. My body tenses up. I can feel the tip of his dick as he slowly starts to fill me up. Every time is like the first time between us.
“Oh, shit!!” I throw my head back and a gasp escapes from deep within.
With every stroke he is prying me open…wider and wider, plunging deeper and deeper…into my pussy. Opps…I meant my heart. Ahh…shit…fuck romance at the moment. This feels so damn good, I can’t even think straight right now. His long, thick dick is plunging deeper and deeper into my pussy…and with every thrust, I’m releasing pussy juices. I mean every centimeter of his cock is soaked. My wet ecstasy is literally seeping into his pores…and J is loving it.
TO BE CONTINUED….