As I am waiting for my asparagus wrapped in bacon to cook…and as some are relaxing after a big meal…or maybe taking a break from family and friends to read blogs…I figured I would add a little spice to your festivities. 🙂 I am not a parent. I am not even in a relationship…but you should totally ignore the disclaimer “warning” above and practice plenty of thanksgiving innuendos. In fact to make up for the poor folks at home, like me, who won’t be getting anyone to “eat my pie”…you should totally practice thanksgiving sex. Here are some ideas… and no I’m not a sitophilia (someone who derives sexual pleasure from food). I think whatever sitophilia I had, went away after the whole cucumber incident. But if you try any of these out and really enjoy it…then you have me to thank for helping you discover a part of yourself. Enjoy! 🙂
1) “clean the carrot”
I’ve done a lot of things in the name of self love…but I will have to admit cleaning the carrot was not one of them. You can “clean the carrot” a few different ways. Two obvious ones that come to mind are using a carrot as a dildo for vaginal penetration or for anal pleasure. But DON”T use the sharp end of the carrot (especially with anal penetration) because you don’t want to tear or bruise delicate skin. It really helps if you “clean the carrot” first by scrubbing the top layer of skin and then rubbing some lubricant on it. If you are worried about being strange for using a carrot to help you masturbate…just know, you are not alone. A carrot is no stranger to masturbation, see the links here to verify: What else can you masturbate with instead of a dildo, Is it normal to use a carrot to masturbate?, and you are joined by numerous porn stars who love using carrots as dildos, just Google to find out.
Plus no one loves carrots as much as this lady…
And the carrot must be a good lover because this woman has the carrot tattooed 35 times all over her body…she has definitely committed to them for life.
2) “eat the pie”
Damn, I wish someone would just come over and “eat my pie.” Or shit, at least come over and give me pie so I can eat it myself….wait…nevermind… Or how about you can come over with pie and you can eat two things at the same time. But you should probably put cling wrap over the vagina, unless you want to risk a yeast infection. Eating someone’s pie has long been a holiday favorite I’m sure. For some folks, it is the only time they really get their pie eaten. As “defined” by Urban Dictionary, there are a few ways to eat the pie, such as:
performing oral sex on a menstruating female.
Looks like Johnny’s been having a pie-eating contest.
or the usual
And some people also like cream with their pie too 🙂
3) “mash the potatoes”
I’ve never experienced mash potatoes in the bedroom. According to Urban Dictionary, this term means to either…
Of course, you can also refer to this term when potatoes are actually mashing like here… (the fact that someone actually sculpted mash potatoes into a sexual position….makes me feel better about my freaky mind).
4) “butter the corn”
The corn is another favorite replacement dildo. It’s so popular they actually have made corn inspired dildos now.
I swear I never knew people could get turned on by corn…but I guess if you look at corn closely it does resemble a part of the male anatomy. And you would butter the corn the usual way… with your mouth or another pair of lips, of course.
5) “cover with nuts”
Do I really have to explain this one??? “Nuts” are sometimes used to describe testicles, thus “nutting” is another term used to describe when a male ejaculates. Because a male’s ejaculation can be trajectory, the male’s partner can be covered in nuts or it can be directed at a particular part of his partner’s body. This method of showering their partner with nuts, seems to be a main staple in the porn industry, so there is plenty of video documentary on this if you need to do more research.
6) “squeeze the turkey baster”
Wow…I really hope you all have already eaten Thanksgiving dinner…because reading about turkey basting may cause you to never look at a turkey baster the same way again. Just a warning. So I never knew that a turkey baster could have so many sexual uses or there would be so many sexual references to it. (Where do these people come up with this stuff?!…I learn so many new things every day!!) Here are so more Urban Dictionary terms for your educational pleasure.
the act in which you have anal sex with a female whilst she is throwing up in the toilet
last night we got so drunk that i ended up turkey basting my girl friend
When you orgasm multiple times onto a woman’s stomach. Using the pull out method. Then wiping off using a towel or other cloth.
I love turkey basting onto a woman’s stomach.
It also seems that a turkey baster is helpful for self love and maybe even pregnancy…
This is another home made sex toy favorite. The possibilities are almost endless and it is so much cheaper than anything sold at Adam & Eve or Priscilla’s. All the things you can do with this amazing invention via homemade sex toys:
1. Use it to suck your clit
Remove the rubber bulb, place the opening over your clitoris, and squeeze rhythmically. Use some water-based lube for more suction and sensation. Simulate oral sex or just get your clit pumped up and sensitive.
2. Use it to suck your dick
Guys, try the same thing on the head of your cock. It’s like a mouth sucking on just the end. With a soft rubber bulb you probably won’t hurt yourself, but be gentle.
3. Use it as a nipple pump
Use the bulb the same way to “pump” your partner’s nipples. Let suction hold the bulb in place, then pull it, hit it, or let it hang.
4. Hump the baster tube
Rub the plastic baster tube against your clitoris, over it, and on the sides. Raised markings on the tube will give extra stimulation.
5. Water massage
Use it to squirt streams of water onto your clit. Do it fast and you can get a “pulsing” effect going. It’s easiest to do this in the tub.
6. DIY ejaculating dildo
A baster is the easiest DIY ejaculating dildo. Squirt warm water (or something else) into your vagina. Use some real baby gravy if you want to get pregnant. Don’t penetrate too deep or poke too hard with the baster tip
7. Anal douche/ejaculating dildo
This could be either an anal douche in preparation for anal sex, or to simulate an ejaculation into the ass. Use caution when inserting the hard end of the baster into the anus, and make sure there aren’t sharp plastic edges that could cause damage.
8. Air stream
Use it to blow puffs of air on the clit or other sensitive areas. Note: Blow air on and around the outside of the vagina or anus. Blowing air into the vagina or anus could cause an embolism, which can be life-threatening.
9. Pussy thumping
Hold the baster by the tube and rub, thump, and tap your partner’s clit and pussy with the rubber bulb. Nothing like a little pussy spanking to get her warmed up.
10. Water torture
Tie up your partner and use the baster to drip cold water on his or her sensitive areas.
11. Serve a creampie
Otherwise known as “felching”. After coming inside your partner, use the baster to suck out your jizz. What you do with it after that is your business
12. Love Taps
Grab the baster by the tube and whack your partner on the butt or back. The rubber bulb makes a nice “thwack” but doesn’t hurt too much. If they’ve been very naughty, discipline them with the plastic baster tube – it has more sting.
13. Ball gag
Remove the rubber bulb and fill with tissues. Stick the closed end into your partner’s mouth.
14. Lube applicator
To prepare yourself for anal sex or fisting, suction some lube up into the baster and squirt it up into your ass.
15. Rub one out
Masturbate by rubbing the bulb on your clit. Stick the baster in your panties with the bulb between your legs, hold the baster tube like a dick, and pump it up and down like you’re jacking off, Drop some marbles or lead fishing weights into the bulb for vibration as well as friction.
7) “stuff the turkey”
And last but not least on my list….this one is for the more adventurous soul. For committed couples, stuffing the turkey is a self explanatory innuendo. For individuals or couples who like to try something different on the holidays, here is an idea also brought to you by Urban Dictionary.
On a more serious note, despite the confusion on why this holiday was actually started, Thanksgiving does have a meaningful purpose behind it. I am thankful for a lot of things…some big, some small, and some only significant to me. One of the things I am thankful for is having this blog to release some of my more insane/intimate thoughts and for having followers/readers who actually lend me your time by supporting this blog. This means a lot to me. So whether you celebrate this holiday or not, I hope you have a lot to be thankful for this season!!
Peace and love!!
It has just been announced…President Obama will serve his second term in the White House. He has just won the swing state of Ohio…giving him 275 electoral votes vs. Romney’s 203 electoral votes. All around the nation people are holding election viewing parties and they are either full of happy cheers right now or sullen faces trying to hold back tears and anger. And then there are houses like mine, which are filled with mix emotions…with some upset for Romney and others happy for Obama.
Looking back on this election season…one thing I can say is, that this election struck a personal nerve with so many people. I’ve seen family members and friends attacking each other over policies and political views. So glad that is now over. Whoever you vote for is your own prerogative and you can’t decide what is the best choice for another person. This election also had a sense of urgency…that whoever won this election would really decide the economic welfare of a nation. I voted early on Saturday and waited in line for an hour…others reported 2 hr waits…and 3 hour waits…but guess what…we all still waited. This election really showed how much every vote really counts. As a person who had to earn my right to vote, I was honored to be able to take part in such a historic election. This election, I didn’t really vote for myself because I feel like I would have been ok under either administration. As a registered Independent and as person who does not vote along party lines…I went back and forth this whole election season torn between who I would cast my vote for. As a self-employed person with 3 jobs, decent healthcare, a law degree, and secure financial standing…I realized how blessed I am. While I am not rich, I am also not poor, I don’t have kids who need to be fed, I am not affected by abortion laws or gun control or military cut backs or gay marriage…so I decided to vote on behalf of all those who had the most to lose in this election.
I honestly liked the Romney and Ryan team, so I would have welcomed him as President with no hard feelings, but I am also happy to say that I don’t have to. After tonight…my life will continue as usual. I will wake up at whatever time I want to and go in to work whenever I feel like it…I will continue to advocate in D.C. for people who don’t have a voice…I will continue to watch kdramas and blog till all hours of the night…and no matter who leads this great country, I will continue to be free to do so. Keep in mind that whether you are happy or sad regarding the election results, you still live in a great country…and unlike so many other people around this world, you will get to show your approval or criticism for the government when you get the opportunity to cast your vote again in the next 4 years.
FULL VIDEO for anyone who missed it:
Just my quick opinion…..I didn’t take notes tonight because I was too tired and I just wanted to sit and watch the VP Debate. I can say that I thoroughly enjoyed the VP Debates and it was actually more interesting than the first Presidential Debate. Topics ranged from nuclear weapons and Syria to the economy to health care to abortion. I really like both VP Biden and Congressman Ryan. If the elections were just between these two men…it would be a tough choice. Both men were very effective and I think both men appealed to the Independent voters. VP Biden came on strong tonight!! He called Ryan out on not being specific, for not getting the facts right and I loved how he called Ryan out for personally sending him 2 letters asking for stimulus money. VP Biden also did a good job of talking to the audience at home. There were a few times where he looked directly at the camera and asked the public who did they trust and he asked seniors whether they were happy with their health care. I think this was a great move and helps to include voters in the debate. I know some people think that Biden came off as too “fierce” or “condescending” but I disagree. I think Biden had to come on strong, especially after the show the President put on last week.
Congressman Ryan is a lot younger than VP Biden, and I think it showed tonight. Despite that, I think that Ryan was very respectful and did his best to get the conversation back to his strong points and he continued to hammer the idea that Romney would not raise taxes on the middle class and how Obamacare would affect senior citizens. I think he also made a good move when he told the personal story of Romney paying the tuition of 2 paralyzed boys that went to Romney’s church and how Romney gives more money to charity than the VP or himself combined. He tried to explain away the “47%” debacle that Romney caused, though that wasn’t as effective.
As a Catholic myself, I was anxious to hear how VP Biden and Ryan, both also Catholics, answered the question concerning how the Catholic Church has shaped their lives and their opinions on abortion. Congressman Ryan said that he believes that life begins at conception, a concept reiterated throughout every Catholic Church in the world, and abortion should only be allowed in the limited circumstances of rape, incest, and where the mother’s life is in danger. VP Biden said that he agrees with the Churches teachings and also believes that life begins at conception, but he refuses to impose his beliefs on others who may not feel the same way. While a lot of people feel that the Catholic Church is full of strictly conservative Republicans…let me assure you that it is not. Catholics are as diverse in political thinking as any other group would be and while some stand behind what Ryan said, I know just as many who stand behind what VP Biden said. I think these two answers reflected well on both men and the Catholic Church.
What are your thoughts on the VP debate??
October 16, 2012
|Topic: Town meeting format including foreign and domestic policy
Air Time: 9:00-10:30 p.m. Eastern Time
Location: Hofstra University in Hempstead, New York (Tickets)
Sponsor: Commission on Presidential Debates
Participants: President Barack Obama and Governor Mitt Romney
Moderator: Candy Crowley (CNN Chief Political Correspondent)
The second presidential debate will take the form of a town meeting, in which citizens will ask questions of the candidates on foreign and domestic issues. Candidates each will have two minutes to respond, and an additional minute for the moderator to facilitate a discussion. The town meeting participants will be undecided voters selected by the Gallup Organization.
I love men in suits. I love good looking older men in suits. I love to hear intelligent men debate back and forth on what they are passionate about. So of course I eagerly awaited the debates. Tonight was the first of 3 Presidential Debates. I took notes during the debate so excuse my shorthand and if I may have left out some of what was said. I assure you, I tried to take notes as unbiased as possible. Tonight’s debate was moderated by Jim Lehrer, the host of NewsHour on PBS, and it was hosted by the Univ. of Denver in Denver, Colorado.
My Notes on tonight’s debate:
1) What are the major differences between the two of you, in how you will create jobs?
Obama: invest in education and training, change tax codes, reduce deficits in balanced way, build up middle class
Romney: 5 basic parts -> 1) get US energy independent, 2) open S. America for trading and crack down on China, 3) work on education, 4) balance the budget, 5) champion small business and will not cut taxes for the wealthy
O: improve education system, keep tuition low, 2) lower corporate tax code, 3) look at energy sources like wind, solar, for the future
R: adamantly denies a $5 trillion tax cut and denies helping wealthy; claims gas, food, health care, etc. has gone up under Pres. Obama; wants to use clean coal, wants to open up gas lines in Alaska and bring in gas from Canada
O: Claims Romney can’t identify how he’s going to close loopholes and deductions from wealthy
R: will not reduce taxes paid by high income and will not increase taxes on middle class income; wants to bring down rates b/c small businesses are hurting b/c they are taxed at individual tax rates
O: wants to go back to Clinton’s tax cuts
2) What are the differences between the 2 of you, in how you are going to go about taking the deficit in the country?
R: 1) raise taxes, 2) cut spending, 3) lower spending
i. Will eliminate all programs that require borrowing money from China
ii. Will make gov’t run more efficient by combining agencies
iii. Claims President Obama has raised the deficit more than any other President in history
O: Said he came into the office which was already struggling from 2 wars being paid by credit card. Wants the wealthy to contribute more by raising taxes.
R: when you are in a recession, you shouldn’t raise taxes on anyone. When you raise taxes, you kill jobs. Raise revenue by providing more jobs.
O: Wants to take a balanced responsible approach. Oil industry gets $4 billion deductions…want to eliminate tax breaks for corporations. Don’t give tax cuts to companies who move production overseas. Help young people so they can afford to go to college.
R: Would like for states to manage Medicaid themselves, instead of the federal gov’t telling the states what to do with the money.
3) Do you see a major difference between the 2 of you on Social Security?
O: The basic structure of SS is sound. Don’t overpay insurance companies and providers, which lowered prescription cost.
R: Neither President or himself, are proposing any changes to current retirees. Claims Pres. Obama is reducing the program by $760 million.
O: Claims Romney will turn Medicare into a voucher program for future retirees. Which would give a voucher to seniors who can go out in marketplace and buy their own insurance, but problem is that voucher won’t keep up with inflation. Private insurance will also only recruit healthy seniors, while the others will be limited to Medicare and in the end, the Medicare system will collapse.
R: Doesn’t want to change Medicare for retirees but wants to give people in the future to have a choice between Medicare and a private insurance company. This provides competition into the Medicare world.
O: Seniors are generally happy with Medicare and private insurance has higher administrative costs and also needs to be paid. AARP claims that Romney’s plan weakens Medicare.
4) What is the view on federal regulations?
R: Regulations is essential for free economy. Thinks regulations should be changed in some areas and kept the same in others. Wants to replace some parts of Dodd Frank
O: The reason we are in such an enormous economy crisis is because of banks making money and churning out things, even they didn’t understand, so he regulated banks. Banks now how to repay all the help they received with interest.
R: Dodd Frank is killing small banks.
5) Romney wants the affordable health care act repealed, why?
R: The cost of health care needs to be dealt with and said that Obama care is increasing the cost of health care and insurance. Cuts $760 million from Medicare. Doesn’t like the idea of an elective board which tells people what procedures they can get. Also doesn’t like how it kills jobs. Wants to craft a plan at the state level that best benefits the state.
O: Group plans lower costs. Agrees that Mass. Had a successful group plan under Gov. Romney.
R: Claims Pres. pushed through a plan without a single Republican vote. Elaborated on the successes of his health care system in Mass. Some studies have shown that Obama care will cause people to lose jobs. Something this big has to be down on a bi-partisan basis.
O: This plan was a bipartisan affair and in fact was a Republican idea. The elective board is a group of doctors, health care experts, etc. who will try to determine how to tackle health care crisis and make costs of health care more effective. Healthcare premiums have gone up in the past 2 years but this is the slowest they have gone up in the last 15 years. Romney hasn’t described what he will replace Obama care with.
R: That he will be keeping certain aspects of Obama care such as, 1) preexisting conditions covered 2) young people can stay on family plan.
O: Calls Romney out for not detailing what he will replace Obama care with. He claims that the reason why Romney is keeping his “plans” secret is not because they are good.
R: Wants to lay out principles he wants to foster instead of coming in and telling people it’s “his way or the highway.” The fed’l gov’t coming in and taking care of health care for the entire nation should not be the way we go with health care.
6) Do you believe there is a fundamental difference in how you see the role of the federal gov’t?
O: 1) keep the citizens safe 2) create frameworks where citizens can succeed with free market but also thinks that if all Americans get opportunities the we will all benefit, 3) reform schools that are struggling and need more teachers
R: Mass. Is ranked #1 in schools. Role gov’t is promote and protect the constitution and declaration of independent…1) will not cut military 2) right for elders to be cared for 3)right to pursue individual dreams
7) Does fed gov’t play a role in education?
R: Wants fed’l funds to follow children
O: Completing training programs for jobs. Making college affordable
R: not making any changes to college tuitions. Questions why Pres put $90 billion in green jobs where a lot of failed, instead of putting the money into teachers and schools. Thinks we should grade schools so parents see which schools are failing.
8) Many of the legislative functions of fed’l gov’t are gridlocked. What would you do about that?
R: Sit down on day 1 and sit with both democrats and rep leaders to work together and find common ground.
O: will take ideas from anybody who will advance middle class families. That’s how we ended up war on Iraq and closing war in Afghanistan. Initiated 3 trade deals around the world to help promote USA goods. Being a leader is about having a plan.
O: Has faith in the American public. Wants everyone to play by the same rules and gets a fair shot at everything. Promised to fight every single day for the middle class like he has been doing in the last 4 years.
R: What kind of American do you want for you and your children…but 2 paths lead in very different directions. Thinks middle class will be squeezed under Pres, there will be chronic unemployment, Obama care will change health care, there will be a $716 million cut to health care, there will be dramatic cuts to military.
My Personal Thoughts:
Overall, I thought the presidential debates went very well tonight. I also found it interesting that Romney wore a red tie, which happened to match his crisp and strong demeanor tonight…while President Obama wore a blue tie, which also seemed to match his calm and collected attitude. The economy is a hot topic right now and both candidates know how important it is to win the middle class and they both reiterated over and over again what they would do to help out the middle class. Most Democrats love President Obama with a passion and while I can’t say that most Republicans love Romney…it seems clear that most Democrats will vote for President Obama and most Republicans will vote for whoever is running against the President.
So those are not the people who the President and Governor Romney are trying to sway. They are trying to sway and reach out to people like me, the Independents who could vote either way and who really make the difference in who wins the elections. I am 90% sure that I will be voting for President Obama this coming November….but with that being said I was extremely impressed by Romney tonight. He came out strong, confident, and made sure to get his point across…even to the point of talking over the moderator. Even though the President called him out for not having a plan or strategy on health care and improving job growth, I disagree….Romney did lay out the skeletons of his plan and I think Romney defended himself very well by repeating his successes in Massachusetts and by stating that he wants to work with everyone instead of making it “his way or the highway.” On the other hand, I don’t think the President came out as strong and he did not do a good job in explaining how he would get the economy back on track or even what he would do different in the next 4 years. The polls show that Romney is trailing behind the President, but I think that this debate has slowly closed that gap. The President was counting on making Romney seem less credible but I think the President under estimated Romney tonight. From news commentary, it seems that the Republicans were very pleased with Romney and the substance of his debate. He has also restored their confidences in him. If Romney continues to fire at the President just as strongly in the next 2 upcoming debates, as he did tonight, he will definitely win over a lot of indecisive Democrats and quite a few Independent voters and this upcoming election will be a very, very close one.
Oct. 11th: Vice Presidential Debates
Topic: Foreign and domestic policy
Air Time: 9:00-10:30 p.m. Eastern Time
Location: Centre College in Danville, Kentucky (Tickets )
Sponsor: Commission on Presidential Debates
Participants: Vice President Joe Biden and Congressman Paul Ryan
Moderator: Martha Raddatz (ABC News Chief Foreign Correspondent)
As this summer draws to an end, others will think of bar-b-ques and poolside drinks and sand in between their toes. I will only think of him and the taste of lemon and grape popsicles melted on my tongue. I still remember when my friend first bought them for me. I did not put popsicles on my grocery list, but she told me, “you are gonna be so glad to have them on a hot summer day.” Little did I know how right she would be. Indirectly, I have her to thank for sticky sheets and sweaty thighs and satisfied smiles…as I strolled into work late with my purple tongue as a reminder of what he tasted like.
He was the grounds keeper for the apartment complex. I was the sexy, single female who liked to water the plants on my balcony with nothing but my t-shirt and panties on…and sometimes with a lucky frozen fruit bar in my mouth.
It started with a favor on how to care for my plants. It ended with the taste of lemon and grape intertwined with each breath I took and every moan I released. I sucked on the tip of a frozen treat as he sucked on my nipples…until they stood erect like brown pyramids against the sandy desert of my skin. He used his tongue to taste me from my chest down to my navel, as I used mine to lick the juice dripping down the sides of the popsicle, like it was the sweat rolling down his abs.
He buried his head in between my thighs and proceeded to do a taste test of the pussy that was spread out before him. With the flat part of his tongue he stroked the entire length of my cleft. He sucked on my plump pussy lips till my thighs shook from the pleasure. He licked the juices flowing out of me like nectar from a flower, as I licked the melted sweetness dripping down my hands. He suckled and slurped me as if I tasted like the frozen lemon drop he finished minutes before he undressed me.
I fed him pussy with each thrust of my hip and he took in mouthful after mouthful. I tried to finish my frozen fruit bar before he finished me but I could no longer concentrate on the sticky sweetness which had melted all over my hands and mouth. He stroked my insides with his fingers as he sucked on my clit until I screamed out his name and begged him to stop.
As my pussy continued to pulsate, he kissed me with lips overworked from natural desires. He tasted of my orgasm mixed with a lemon tongue and I tasted of grape soda. His tongue was hot from my heat and I tried to cool it off with a tongue drenched in a frozen treat.
And so my summer began with the taste of lemon and grape. And in this way, it continued on… as I bought lemonade and grape frozen fruit bars, 2 and 3 boxes at a time. This past summer sure was a hot one …thank goodness for frozen popsicle treats.
Hello Dear Readers,
I just wanted to let you know that I have been super busy these past few weeks with Real Life responsibilities…ugh!! So no worries, I haven’t abandoned this blog. 🙂 I have been doing Human Rights’ presentations for universities and working on a website…all with the goal of boosting my resume so that when I apply to these fellowships in NYC, I will trick them into thinking I am a qualified candidate. 🙂 I promise to return soon with more tantalizing erotic tales and more heart warming poetry.
Until then… I will leave you with some pics that always makes me believe in finding love again and with the hope that sometimes love really does last a lifetime.
You are never too old to find the the one!
This story is my favorite!! The man is 104 years old and his wife is 100 years old. They have been married for 81 years. They are very poor and he has never seen his wife in a wedding dress, so when this picture was taken, it was the first time she wore one. They were both so overwhelmed. He hugged her and said that she is still beautiful to him. 🙂
Ok…hopefully no one intentionally aspires to be cling wrap. It’s just one of those things that happens when sometimes the paths in life that we take…lead us to the wrong people. Instead of running the other way once we realize that they are not good for anything but lies, cheap thrills, and wasting our time…we somehow get “caught” or “stuck”…and just like cling wrap, it may take a few tries before we can finally peel ourselves off. If any of these pics apply to you and your “relationship”…then it may be a sign that you need to walk the other way… unless you aspire to be cling wrap.
She picks up her pencil and starts to take notes. She looks around the room at unfamiliar faces…younger faces…and struggles to pay attention as the professor lectures on, in a language that is natively, not her own.
After escaping a war-torn country, adapting to a new culture, raising 5 children into adulthood, and working the last 15 years on the assembly line level of a company that does not realize her worth…she finally decided to pursue her own dreams.
She spent the last 2 years writing a memoir, with only the hopes and dreams that the outside world would value her struggles as much as she did. At the beginning of this year, she sent off numerous manuscripts, with only a simple prayer. Her hopes and dreams became a reality when among the numerous “nos”, one publishing company finally said “yes.” Only in her dreams did she imagine that her memoir would not only be published, but that she would be asked to do a book signing, and that there would already be a pre-order of 1,000 books.
Today she is making another dream a reality. While others were getting teary eyed wishing their kids off to school…I was getting teary eyed wishing my mother “good luck” on her first day back at school…in 39 years!! She is 54 years old and starting Adult Education Classes at the 5th grade level…and I have never been more proud of her.
She has taught me a lot of life lessons, including the fact that…it is never to late to pursue your dreams and sometimes dreams really do come true!
For more on her story: My Mother, My Hero
Sometimes it seems as though you always run into certain people at certain places…whether it’s at the mall, the gym, or at Wal-Mart. For me and him, it was always the gas station. It’s moments like this when I wonder about the circumstance of coincidence or if there really is a thing such as fate.
We locked eyes and I immediately smiled. We had a brief summer fling before my first year of law school and have maintained a sense of mutual respect ever sense.
“You look good!” he said. “You look different. You colored your hair…you lost some weight…”
I just smiled and said, “yes.”
He looked the same. Tall and lean. Jet black hair. Golden skin. The prettiest turquoise eyes I’ve ever seen.
“You look happy,” he said.
“I am,” I replied.
“Good for you,” he said, with a simple nod.
We just stood there, eyeing each other and smiling…both of us carrying silly little grins. Then we both just burst out laughing. Yea…it was one of those moments. I couldn’t remember the last time I was this at ease and giddy at the same time.
“Sorry,” he said. “Damn, you just look really good. I know I just said that like 5 times, but I don’t know what else to say.”
I blushed like a school girl.
After a few seconds of stalling, he looked off to the side and somberly said, “I’m getting married next month.”
“I know,” I said. “Congratulations.”
In those 60 seconds, the mood had changed. Before anything else could be said, I asked for a hug and said that I needed to be on my way. He came over to my car and gave me one of those intimate hugs, where you can feel every muscle and every breath he takes. There was no space between his chest and mine.
“It could’ve been you,” he said. Then he kissed me on the forehead, took a deep breath, released me, and walked to his car. It was like a scene from a movie. Out of all the movie scenes in the world, why was I stuck with this sad one.
In that split second, something came over me. It was like ksoranna took over…my ego that was irrational, emotionally driven and too brazen for her own good.
“Wait!” I yelled and ran to him…straight into his arms. Not only did he accept my embrace…he lifted me up to meet his face. Our lips met and we kissed.
In the middle of the gas station…me in my late 20s…he in his mid 30s…like high school sweethearts saying good-bye…we kissed. My arms wrapped around his neck, legs wrapped around his back…his arms holding me steady…we kissed. Unaware of the stares, unaware of the heat, unaware of the time and place…we kissed. Like the memory of his lips hadn’t been absent from mine, for the last 6 years…we kissed.
As suddenly as it started, it stopped. He gently held me as I rested my head in the crook of his neck, one last time. The look on his face, once he released me…was it anguish, regret, guilt??
“Do me a favor,” he stated. “Please delete me from your Facebook and erase my number.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because I can’t bear to do it and you are stronger than me,” he said.
A few seconds later…the exchange of “good-byes” and “take cares.” I knew that the next time I saw him, if I even would see him again, he would be a married man.
I drove off. “It could’ve have been you” repeated over and over in my head. I don’t know what I felt. It wasn’t guilt…it wasn’t even sadness. More like that dreadful acceptance that everyone else around me was moving on and starting new lives and new families…while I was still stuck in park.
I pulled my car over to the side of the road and like another sad movie scene, I put my head in my hands and cried.
NOTE TO ANY MAN I DATE IN THE FUTURE: You must be willing to leave your uneaten food at the table, walk to the car parked a few blocks away, to go get your phone charger, so that you can take pictures of me, if that is my desire. Yes…my pedestal for what I expect out of my future man has risen even higher! But don’t blame me…blame him.
The him that causes me to smile that comfortable, easy smile, shared between friends and past lovers. The him that can pull off a hot pink dress shirt, brown slacks, and brown and pink matching socks to complete the outfit. He looked good.
We argued on the way to the restaurant because he was late, had no idea where he was going, and I was hungry. After 7 years, some things never change. We talked, we laughed, we took pictures and teased each other about who was the more conceited one out of the two of us. After looking through the pics on his phone, the evidence was clear that it was him.
We don’t always get along and barely agree on anything, but for some reason we have remained in each other’s lives, despite a short-lived romance that was more down than up. We don’t have much in common, don’t share the same circle of friends, and haven’t even made time to see each other, yet for some reason I know his number will never be deleted from my phone. My friends sometimes wonder why I put up with his snarky remarks and uncensored comments. It’s for the same reason I still am close with my high school friends, still keep in touch with folks from college…I like having someone in my life who can appreciate the woman I have become, because they once knew the girl I was. He is one of the few guys out there, who knows how I voted during the presidential election of 2004, who knows what I looked like in pictures that I have long since deleted from Facebook, and who will proudly acknowledge my success because he once helped me complete homework assignments.
He has a good head on his shoulder and a good heart. Someday he will learn to love a woman who will put up with his weird disdain for water, Michael Jackson obsession, and conceited mirror loving ways. If they are blessed enough to have children, he will be the most devoted and loving father. That wife and mother won’t be me…but it was nice to know, that at one time it could have been.
We haven’t spoken since that dinner and he is moving to Atlanta, Georgia…this time for the right reasons. If our history is any indication, it will be months, maybe years before we speak or ever see each other again. But the last text he sent me said, “If my wife doesn’t mind, you will be invited to my wedding.” I will take that, as an early invitation. Until then, good-bye for now and take care.