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I had a blind date last night and I was praying to God the whole day that I would NOT have a good time. Why?? Because I was crazy about this other guy and I didn’t want any more confusion in my dating life, but at the same time I had to go on the blind date, otherwise I would be thinking “what if” the entire time.

I walked in 10 minutes late and there he was sitting at the bar. Damn, not only was I not stood up, he was there early. I went up gave him a hug and we moved to a table. I looked at him and made a mental scowl and thought, “Damn, I knew God was not going to listen to me.” The dude looked like he walked straight out of a J. Crew catalog, with his blonde hair, blue eyes and perfect straight, white teeth. I never did trust people with perfect straight, white teeth…that is so unnatural.

Right from the beginning the date was a slow disaster waiting to unravel. We sat down and he asked if I was looking forward to this date and I said, “No, I was actually hoping you were going to be ugly and boring…that was my prayer for today.” He just looked at me with that awkward pause playing in the background as the poor guy struggled to find the words to follow up my unexpected comment. In my head I’m like, “Fuck. Ksoranna is on this date and she is going to continue to say crazy things and embarrass me this whole time.” And sure enough, that is exactly what happened. At one point he said that I was being too “negative” and to stop offering him advice on his career path. I told him he had a shitty phone…he didn’t like that I insulted his iPhone very much. I told him that he needs to quit his job…he didn’t like that I insulted his career choice.  I told him that he needs to approach women more and not be scared of confrontation…he didn’t like that I called him out for being a pussy.

I actually thought he was going to get up and leave the table because we were going back and forth so much. This is so typically of 2 people who are both stubborn Taurus’. Why do I continue to date people with my horoscope…I don’t know if it’s a coincidence that we never seem to get along. I even warned him about my split personality disorder and he said that I was so weird and that fact was a little “creepy.” Yes, he actually used the word creepy to refer to Ksoranna. She was not too happy about that and was about to really give him a piece of her mind, but I had to calm her down. This was almost as bad as the date where the guy said on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being bat shit crazy, I was probably about a 6 or 7 and where one guy asked me if I was on any medication, to which I confidently responded to with a “yes and I don’t think it’s strong enough for me”. The only thing me and blind date dude agreed upon was religion…yay for the Catholic Church. I am glad he wants to marry in the Church though I feel sorry for whoever agrees to marry him. I have been single for about 3 years. This dude has been single since high school!! That is a definite red flag. He was soo incredible boring, and judgmental, and not funny in a douche bag kind of way. I told him that I wasn’t much of a people person and that I’m not really comfortable on dates and he responded, “yea I can see that.” When the check came he said there was a basketball game he was trying to catch. That is usually my line for why I am running to the door marked exit, so I knew there would definitely not be a 2nd date. Actually I knew it was over when he insulted my love of Jeremy Lin and said my panda bear earmuffs were childish!! How can you insult Jeremy Lin AND my panda bear earmuffs?! Well I missed a Houston Rockets game last night for nothing!!

Despite all that, I was glad I went on this date. As I was driving home, I realized how much I hate dating. It is usually so awkward and uncomfortable and there are only like 5% potentials and the rest of the 95% are made up of “hell no’s”, “probably gay”, “insecure”, or “friend zone material.” So it is really rare that I make a genuine connection with someone…and it is even rarer that the feelings are mutual. And I already had this connection with someone (let’s call him Home Depot) so why was I even entertaining other dates which would probably fall into the 95% category anyways. I feel like God always is testing me to see where my heart is at. For example there was this other guy…he was half Asian, tall, also a lawyer, also Catholic, unfortunately also a Taurus…basically had all the qualities on my list. And funny that God made him available to me after I met Home Depot. I’m not gonna lie, it made me hesitate for a little bit but then I realized who cares about the color of his skin or his height or his religion…I’ve never gotten along with any Asian Catholics anyways!! So I called up Home Depot and told him that I had to see him. Once I got there he asked me how my date went (yes, I am very honest and open with everyone I am dating) and I basically said, “it was uncomfortable and awkward and weird…don’t ever make me go on those dates again…I just want to be yours.” And that’s how the guy who didn’t fit any of my requisites snagged Ksoranna…oh and the fact that I actually like kissing him and he accepts my multiple personalities and Jeremy Lin love and all my guy friends and lizard man voice, doesn’t hurt either.

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Dating me is like a roller coaster and not for the faint of heart…or as one of my best friends said “Only the strong survive!” It usually starts out unexpected and ends up being like the ocean…smooth sailing at times, sometimes beautiful and relaxing to be around, and then stormy and tumultuous on some days. I’m sure, this one will be no different.

I can’t promise Home Depot anything. Some days I may be passionate and affectionate, like Ksoranna, other days I may be in love with Jeremy Lin and my korean dramas, like Anna and other days I may be all about work and could care less about men, like Miss Esquire. All I know is that I finally found someone who I WANT to see and can’t get enough of. This feeling may last 2 weeks, 2 years or forever…but I am willing to take that chance. And for me…right now, this brings me happiness and that is enough.

 

 

 

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